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A sample of the sarcastic goodness of Seanbaby...read more at www.thewavemag.com (I copied this, in case you care)
In July, a Jefferson City, Misouri lunatic named Jonathon Russell went to work at the plant and opened fire on his coworkers. Then he drove to the police station to shoot at the police. They were strongly against that, so they shot him back. This gave him the idea to blow his own head off and cost the murder community a dear friend. Now, here’s where the craziness falls into a vat of chemicals and gains abilities far beyond normal craziness: His mother wants his workers’ benefits, since his murder-suicide was sort of work-related.
To her credit, she was very careful in how she worded her claim form. Instead of giving his cause of death as, “Murder spree,” she described his injury as “Death by gunfire while on company clock (time).” And while the company’s insurance provider doesn’t have a policy on exactly how much you get paid if you leave work early to shoot at policemen, it does have a rule that removing your face on purpose isn’t their fault.
In July, a Jefferson City, Misouri lunatic named Jonathon Russell went to work at the plant and opened fire on his coworkers. Then he drove to the police station to shoot at the police. They were strongly against that, so they shot him back. This gave him the idea to blow his own head off and cost the murder community a dear friend. Now, here’s where the craziness falls into a vat of chemicals and gains abilities far beyond normal craziness: His mother wants his workers’ benefits, since his murder-suicide was sort of work-related.
To her credit, she was very careful in how she worded her claim form. Instead of giving his cause of death as, “Murder spree,” she described his injury as “Death by gunfire while on company clock (time).” And while the company’s insurance provider doesn’t have a policy on exactly how much you get paid if you leave work early to shoot at policemen, it does have a rule that removing your face on purpose isn’t their fault.
