draggonlaady

got another troll today. I get a lot of messages from this group/person/thing that are all fishy (salmon, coho, trout...). This one's not quite as outrageous as the last one, but I thought it was funny about the Klan meeting since I posted a link to that picture today.

[14:23] TerdEatingCoho: Wanna tinker with my stinker? BLEEP: IM GLAD IM A PEDOHPILE AND THAT YOU ARE MY CHAT BUDDY
[14:23] *** Auto-response sent to TerdEatingCoho: I am currently away from the computer.
[14:23] TerdEatingCoho: What day are you going to have the place to yourself again? We need to get this month's Klan meeting going.

Not online this time. Not really sure what the point of this interaction was...

(I drive a Ford Escort wagon. This is pertinent info to the following story.)
Was fueling up my car last night, minding my own business. I hear this gent say something about a Subaru. I don't really listen, because why would someone be talking to me about Subarus, right? Well he manages to catch my eye and tells me (I'm assuming repeating) that he thought at first that my car was a Subaru. Says "it has the look of one."

I'm sure the look I gave him was absolutely befuddled, because really, that's what I felt. What the hey am I supposed to say to that? I went with the "smile-and-nod" sort of response, finished fueling and got back in my car.

So I decided to check my OKC message box today... and first thing is that I have a message from OKC itself, telling me that this person, http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=Master_of_You, has added me to their "saved list" and wants me to know that. Ok, fine. Except that said person didn't message me directly. NOT a good sign for him being what he claims he is... cuz who wants a "master" who apparently doesn't have the spine to contact a potential sub himself?

Second message was from someone who's profile is basically blank, except that it says he's from Jersey, Georgia. Here's what his message said (copy and paste is wonderful...all typos are his):

I was searching through this site when i came across your profile.I must say you are a very beautiful Woman and will like to know you better.Am Paul Dickson by name am from Texas in the US.My main purpose of registering in this site is that am looking for a partner.A woman that i will call a wife not for my money but for who i am.Am not married and i dont have kids.I am working with a travelling company.Any interested person who sees and think am is kind of man should contact me and reply me on pauldickson008@yahoo.com
Thanks
Paul

So yeah. How do I attract such winners? or is that weiners?

so I could transcribe accurately conversations like the one I just had at the bar. The following is as close as I can dredge from my faulty memory...

I'm sitting at the bar, reading Newsweek and waiting for the bartender to bring me my dinner. A guy walks up, and sits down on my right. Quick glance in the mirror--average appearance, reddish-blonde, maybe a couple extra pounds but nothing really outstanding good or bad. I go back to reading. And continued keeping my attention primarily on my magazine through the following:

"Hi. Where are you from?"
"Here."
"Here? You're in the bar all the time?"
"Frequently."
"I'm Carmen"
"Jes"
"So really, where are you from?"
"I live in town."
"So are you going to talk to me, or just read your magazine?"
"I'm just here for dinner. I'm not really interested in talking to anyone."
"Well that's just mean."
"Really? I thought it was honest. Would you rather I lead you on and then just leave when I finish my dinner?"
"You little shit."

At which point he stands up and walks off, and I return to my reading...but can hear him telling someone else down that "the cold witch at the end of the bar just totally shot him down."

About 3 minutes later, someone else comes and sits on the stool. I glance over, it's a guy who'd been sitting further down a bit ago. He smiles at me, orders a drink, and sits quietly. Yay! Dinner in peace! Until the stool the other side of me empties, and Carmen comes back...

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to me? Because I'd really like to talk to you."
"Sorry, but I'm just not interested."
"Won't you even tell me your name?"
"I already did."
"Can you tell me again?"
"Look. I'm really not interested in talking to you. Sorry."
"Why not?"
Sigh. "I told you already that I'm not interested in talking to anybody. I'm TRYING to eat my dinner. And you calling me a 'little shit' when I explained that earlier just cements the impression that I won't be interested in talking to you in particular even after I'm done with dinner."
So Carmen lamely tries to explain that "little shit" wasn't supposed to be insulting, it was supposed to be cute; when I told him that I didn't find it cute, he apologized and wanted to know why I didn't want to talk to him...
Rest of the conversation was fairly repetitious, but did include a lovely sermon on how I should be more open-minded and less mean. Oh, and I got called "a little turd." Anyway, basically ended it with "I've already told you that I'm not interested in talking to you. Why are you still talking?"

Which, thankfully, caused him to swallow whatever words were coming next and leave.

Shortly thereafter, the guy to the other side of me stood up, said "I have to leave now. If he comes back and sits here, I'm really sorry." Which earned him a smile and hell--if HE ever sits down and talks to me I'll probably talk back. :)

Ok, so I decided that I'd just lie to be scary and see what happened. It apparently wasn't scary enough. I was on a friend's computer, so for the purpose of this conversation, I'm Laura. Honestly, would you keep talking to someone who told you they'd hit a bicyclist while driving drunk? eew.

asasizemore: hey whats up
Laura : not much, just pretending to be laura
asasizemore: then who are you
Laura : jes
Laura : who are you?
asasizemore: Asa
asasizemore: i live in Coeur d alene
Laura : nice to meet you. i'm stuck in pullman
asasizemore: in pullman
Laura : yup. crappy little town.
asasizemore: need a ride home
Laura : no, i live here. i'm stuck here for school
asasizemore: ah ok
asasizemore: got ya
asasizemore: are you from cda
Laura : nope
Laura : so how do you know laura?
asasizemore: shes my girlfriend
asasizemore: just kidding
Laura : funny that, she's dating my best friend
asasizemore: just talked to her on here a few times is all
asasizemore: you got a boyfriend
Laura : not that i know of
asasizemore: oh ok wanna hook up lol
Laura : seems unlikely
asasizemore: i know you have a pic or what do you look like
Laura : rather human, i guess
asasizemore: ok
asasizemore: you just look human thats all
Laura : pretty much. except for the horns
asasizemore: ahh ok
asasizemore: are you cute though
Laura : sure, if you're into the evil type
asasizemore: i like the evil type sometimes
You have been invited to view asasizemore's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) - Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

Laura : why?
asasizemore: they are ussually mysterious and can be a hard to figure out and i like that
Laura : oh. well, i'm the simple evil type. i use people to accomplish my own ends and then discard them when i'm done with them
asasizemore: use me
Laura : the only thing i'm needing right now is a housekeeper and yard boy.
asasizemore: ok then i am in the wrong place
Laura : you said i could use you. you didn't put limits on what uses i could put you to
Laura : i never claimed that i'd be nice to you
asasizemore: i guess so i might do yard work but i have my own house to clean
Laura : so? i'm evil remember. i don't care if your house gets clean
asasizemore: thats awfull
Laura : pretty much.
asasizemore: so are you cute
Laura : at least i'm honest about it though
asasizemore: yep
Laura : well, the girls tell me i am
asasizemore: are you a girl
Laura : well i do look pretty good in a skirt
asasizemore: nice
asasizemore: do you look good in a bathing suit
Laura : depends on your taste, i guess
asasizemore: oh ok
Laura : since i pretty much doubt you have good taste (given that you're still talking to me) i'll go with yes
asasizemore: what color hair you have
asasizemore: your funny
Laura : which hair? the stuff on my head, or the short and curlies?
Laura : yeah, but looks aren't everything
asasizemore: both
Laura : depends on what color my friends have painted me recently
asasizemore: do you get painted a lot
Laura : only when i'm drunk
asasizemore: cool
asasizemore: i was drunk last night
Laura : mmm. i stopped getting drunk after i hit that kid on the bike
asasizemore: sorry to hear of your mis fortune
Laura : wasn't too bad, just got community service and a fine
Laura : and my license suspended of course
asasizemore: dang cant drive then
Laura : nope
asasizemore: ahh
Laura : well, not legally anyway
asasizemore: ya i never got a dui or anything
Laura : lucky you
asasizemore: try not to drink and drive
Laura : what's the fun in that?
asasizemore: i am responsible drunk guy
Laura : that's nice
asasizemore: you dont like nice though right
Laura : sure. they're easier to take advantage of

OK...so some back ground. since i now have a bit more free time, i decided to cruise through an online chat room. no real reason, i don't do it often, but anyway... the following is an actual chat that i saved because the guy i was talking to is so incredibly inane. really. i can't make this shit up. enjoy :)
oh, for those of you who don't frequent chat rooms, asl means age, sex, location

draggonlaady: hiya
shanu_coool: asl
draggonlaady: old enough to know better, young enough not to care
draggonlaady: the pretty one
draggonlaady: right here
shanu_coool: ok asl pl;s
draggonlaady: just gave it
draggonlaady: gotta talk a bit more if you want more detail
shanu_coool: ok wassup
draggonlaady: not much. just killin time before i fall asleep
shanu_coool: so how do ulooks like
draggonlaady: rather human
draggonlaady: and yourself?
shanu_coool: im brown and having brown hair
draggonlaady: good that you match
shanu_coool: and upls
draggonlaady: does it matter, really? i could tell you anything and you'd never know if it was true
shanu_coool: ok how ur boobs looks like
draggonlaady: rather like boobs, i imagine.
shanu_coool: wat is the bra size
draggonlaady: just right
shanu_coool: tell me honey
draggonlaady: it's just right
shanu_coool: ok so wassup
draggonlaady: oh, lots of things. clouds, the sky, the roof, lights, stuff like that
shanu_coool: tell me about ur body
draggonlaady: it works for me.
shanu_coool: ur butt
draggonlaady: i'm sittin on it
shanu_coool: cool
draggonlaady: more warm, really
shanu_coool: so i think uar so sexy
draggonlaady: you have no idea anything about me, how could you possibly come to a conclusion like that?
shanu_coool: by ur words
draggonlaady: really. and what's sexy about my words?
shanu_coool: i luv u
draggonlaady: that's a bit premature. are you that rushed in everything you do?
shanu_coool: do ulike to suck mything
draggonlaady: never met your thing, so how would i know?
shanu_coool: i want to kiss ur ass
draggonlaady: but i'm sitting on it
shanu_coool: pls my honey
draggonlaady: what'll you give me for it?
shanu_coool: my cock
draggonlaady: ah, but i can get those here
shanu_coool: ok
draggonlaady: as long as it doesn't crow and it's over 12 i'll have no problem breaking it