So you all know that I recently purchased the business. Since then, I've been frantically updating everything that has the previous owner's name on it. Currently, that means that I am having fits trying to deal with a phone book company.
The Berry Company publishes CenturyLink's phone book in this area. Late in February, I called CenturyLink about updating the yellow pages and white pages listings, and getting a better price on the listings, since the book they send out is smaller and less popular than the other local book, which offers me a larger ad space for about half as much. CenturyLink referred me to Berry, and then the fun was on.
On the 27th or 28th of Feb, I called Berry, and left a message because nobody answered. Nobody called back by the 3rd of March, so I called again. And was informed by the customer service rep that I had to have contacted them by the 28th of February. Isn't that shiny? She also informed me that she cannot update the listings, or change the contract price, but would send an email to Sales and someone from Sales would get back to me.
On the 7th, having not received a call back, I called again. I was on hold for half an hour before customer service picked up. The on-hold adverts have an insanely varying volume level, from ear-shattering to inaudible. Also, every third ad states that "our goal is 100% customer satisfaction, 100% of the time." HAH! So I get another customer service rep after half an hour of this crap. This customer rep apparently knows that the hold ads suck ass, because when I told her, she says "yeah, they're trying to fix that". So I ask about updating the listings again, and she then oh so helpfully tells me that I had to have contacted them by the 28th of February, that she cannot update the listings, or change the contract price, but would send an email to Sales and someone from Sales would get back to me. I told her that someone already DID that, and Sales hasn't contacted me. I requested that she transfer me to Sales. She can't or won't do so. She instead says that she will mark the message as a priority this time. I then ask her what happens if I pay the rest of my phone bill (because these fuckers bill through the phone company, not separately) but refuse to pay the portion that is billed for them. She tells me that doing so will get my phone disconnected, even if I pay the rest of the bill.
So, today, I call back because, of course, nobody from Sales has called me yet. Perhaps I'm an impatient bitch, but I think that 48 hours between calls is a reasonable waiting time, yeah? I talked to the rep at CenturyLink again today, and she verified that they would have to disconnect service eventually if I stopped paying the whole bill. So back to the Berry Company...I was only on hold 6 minutes listening to the bullshit this time before someone picked up. I asked to be transferred to a supervisor. She says "well, is there something I can help you with?" I said "Seems unlikely, as nobody has yet, can you transfer me to a supervisor or do I need to go through the whole long story so you can tell me you can't help me and transfer me to a supervisor?" So she makes me run through the whole damn thing, and, as predicted, says she can't do anything about it, and goes to find a supervisor. Back on hold for another 5 minutes. Get to talk to Chad, who re-re-re-repeats that it's too late to change the listings for this year, has no comment when I tell him I've been trying to contact someone since February but have not gotten any calls back (other than "we have several thousand customers, even if you'd talked to someone on the 28th, I can't guarantee that we could have gotten the listing changed"), and who assures me that he
knows what my sales agreement for the business states and that there is a clause in there saying specifically that I will take over responsibility for directory listings. He wants me to fax him a copy of my sales agreement. When I asked him if sending him this is going to make any difference on whether he is willing to lower the cost of my listings, he evaded answering 5 times (I counted) until I flat said "Sir, you are not answering the question. Is there any realistic chance that if I bother digging this thing out and sending to you that you are going to adjust the price of the listing? can you even do that, or is this just busy work to get me to go away?" He tried evading again, and eventually gave me a stupid-non-answer about not guaranteeing that he'll change anything until he sees the sales agreement that he absolutely will not change anything if he doesn't, but he assures me that he can make adjustments to any account if he thinks it needs adjusted. I did NOT snap at him anything to the effect of "Well then, MAKE A FUCKING ADJUSTMENT. I've already explained to you that the listing you're printing is inaccurate, and that the other phone book in the area, which is more popular and offers me a larger listing, is charging me half as much. No interest whatsoever in being competitive or in trying to make your customer happy as per your stated goals, yeah?" Mr Authority here then had to ask someone else what their fax number was, so that I could send him stuff. So I'm typing a statement to him, explaining my displeasure with the customer service I have so far not received, pointing out that nobody from his company contacted me prior to signing me up for another year of this, that i didn't even know his company EXISTED let alone that I had an account with him (silly me for assuming that when I update my information with CenturyLink, that information will be updated in the phone book with their name on it! How foolish on my part!), that I am paying much less for a larger listing in a more popular book in the area (who DID contact me prior to re-publishing, and therefore has updated information), requesting that he send me a copy of the agreement that he claims prior owner signed which binds me to this amount, and since he has stated that he can make any adjustment he wants to any account, and requesting that he adjust my account to match the amount I'm paying the other phone book company. I expect that if I get any response, it will be a snide no on reduction of the billing, and that he will be unable to produce anything with dr m's signature on it. I also expect that if he doesn't do SOMETHING to reply to my clearly expressed dissatisfaction, I will cancel my listing in this book. Yeah, it's stupid to not have a listing in the yellow pages in every damn book in the area, but fuck it. almost nobody uses the damn thing anyway--it's the skimpiest book you can find in the county, and basically everybody uses the better one that costs half as much to list in.
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