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Twilight: the way it should have gone.
Nov. 29th, 2009 11:05 am
From Sluggy Freelance comic (www.sluggy.com)
Twilight, the end.
Nov. 21st, 2009 08:55 pm370 pages in, and suddenly, there are actual vampires! 370 pages into a "vampire story" just under 500 pages long before it actually starts showing signs of becoming a vampire story.
On the other hand, whiny girl suddenly and inexplicably got considerably more competent (while crying incessantly, nonetheless) when her life was actually threatened.
Oh, and the baseball game was pretty much what I thought it would be, once I knew there was going to be one. Is the movie scene really worth bothering with?
What the bloody fuck? no. nonononono. You don't get the option of sucking the vampire back out of the bitch. of all the bullshitty bullshit!
And the whole prom thing was just ... meh. Back to the meh as soon as the real vampire was no longer involved. And what, by the way, is with denying me the fight scene? THE only fight in the entire damn book, (and what is a vampire story without some violence?!?) and it's not even described AT ALL? "Oh, yeah, well, they took care of it." She sets up this epic fucking battle with a hunter several hundred years old who's supposed to be such big shit the other vampires are all scared of him, and "oh, yeah, well, they took care of it?" God DAMN this woman does not know how to write a vampire story. Stupid freaking chick-lit crap.
My conclusion: I enjoyed 10 pages out of this 500 page book, and all of them centered around the "evil" vampire.
On the other hand, whiny girl suddenly and inexplicably got considerably more competent (while crying incessantly, nonetheless) when her life was actually threatened.
Oh, and the baseball game was pretty much what I thought it would be, once I knew there was going to be one. Is the movie scene really worth bothering with?
What the bloody fuck? no. nonononono. You don't get the option of sucking the vampire back out of the bitch. of all the bullshitty bullshit!
And the whole prom thing was just ... meh. Back to the meh as soon as the real vampire was no longer involved. And what, by the way, is with denying me the fight scene? THE only fight in the entire damn book, (and what is a vampire story without some violence?!?) and it's not even described AT ALL? "Oh, yeah, well, they took care of it." She sets up this epic fucking battle with a hunter several hundred years old who's supposed to be such big shit the other vampires are all scared of him, and "oh, yeah, well, they took care of it?" God DAMN this woman does not know how to write a vampire story. Stupid freaking chick-lit crap.
My conclusion: I enjoyed 10 pages out of this 500 page book, and all of them centered around the "evil" vampire.
Working through; but only another 50 pages last night. Hey, I told you it would be easy to put it down and not go back, I had other stuff to do.
So now we get into the WTF sections.
The sparkly scene was actually mostly brain-shredding not because of the sparkly (which is bad enough) but because of the constant comments about how stunning his "god-like beautiful perfection" was, and how she couldn't believe this "Adonis" was talking to her. The $3 words were way over-used; I have a hard time thinking that it's a 17 year old talking, when there are obvious, more-common word choices. I mean really; "besotted"? The author tries to justify it by saying that Pride and Prejudice is the girl's favorite book, but it just comes off as an excuse for the author to use her favorite thesaurus.
AAAAAND... the creepy. I was mistaken on how creepy the boy would turn. He didn't sneak into her room once; he finally 'fesses up to having snuck into her house EVERY NIGHT for 6 weeks. And to eavesdropping on conversations with practically everyone she's talked to in the last 2 months. AND to following her everywhere she goes. First damn vampish thing the vampixie's done, which is totally fine, right? Vamps are supposed to be dark and creepy, so yay. He's finally being something resembling a vampire instead of a fairy. What I absolutely cannot stand is her reaction. She's not at ALL creeped out, or angry, to find that he's been jealously stalking her every moment, waking AND sleeping, for weeks. No, no, that's not creepy, it's not stalking, it's Fucking-A-Romantic-As-All-Hell in her dumb shit little brain. I just want to smack the hell out of the girl. Guess since she's already decided that it doesn't matter that he claims to be a murdering monster, it doesn't matter that he's a stalker too. *headdesk*
So now we get into the WTF sections.
The sparkly scene was actually mostly brain-shredding not because of the sparkly (which is bad enough) but because of the constant comments about how stunning his "god-like beautiful perfection" was, and how she couldn't believe this "Adonis" was talking to her. The $3 words were way over-used; I have a hard time thinking that it's a 17 year old talking, when there are obvious, more-common word choices. I mean really; "besotted"? The author tries to justify it by saying that Pride and Prejudice is the girl's favorite book, but it just comes off as an excuse for the author to use her favorite thesaurus.
AAAAAND... the creepy. I was mistaken on how creepy the boy would turn. He didn't sneak into her room once; he finally 'fesses up to having snuck into her house EVERY NIGHT for 6 weeks. And to eavesdropping on conversations with practically everyone she's talked to in the last 2 months. AND to following her everywhere she goes. First damn vampish thing the vampixie's done, which is totally fine, right? Vamps are supposed to be dark and creepy, so yay. He's finally being something resembling a vampire instead of a fairy. What I absolutely cannot stand is her reaction. She's not at ALL creeped out, or angry, to find that he's been jealously stalking her every moment, waking AND sleeping, for weeks. No, no, that's not creepy, it's not stalking, it's Fucking-A-Romantic-As-All-Hell in her dumb shit little brain. I just want to smack the hell out of the girl. Guess since she's already decided that it doesn't matter that he claims to be a murdering monster, it doesn't matter that he's a stalker too. *headdesk*
Bravery or stupidity
Nov. 15th, 2009 04:41 pmEither way, I'm gonna do it... Twilight, here I come.
Comments, as I think of them:
"Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose" Uhm... Do teenagers talk like that? I was pretty well a nerd in school, and don't recall using the word "verbose".
(Bruce says he did, so maybe I'm overly critical?)
Bella is a whiny-ass. The whole moving up to Forks thing is somehow her idea; hasn't been explained yet, but you'd think she was being made a martyr.
(about page 30 here)
Why the hell is she obsessing over the boy who was a rude ass and trying to come up with ways to brush off the guy who's being nice and helpful, all the while whinging about how she'll never fit in anywhere and nobody will like her? self-fulfilling much?
She's lived with her father every summer of her life, and she just NOW discovers that he can't cook? what the crap did she eat every prior summer?
Also, she's a whiny-ass.
150 pages in (yes all in one go;when I'm on a mission, I'm on on a mission, you sillies) and she's still a whiny-ass but less annoyingly so I guess. I have very little sympathy for the character-type in general, but can see where it'd be appealing to some... you know, basically anybody that likes rom-coms. Edward has mostly been your typical teen-age asshat boy, jerking between "stay away from me, I'm SOOOO bad for you" and asking her to go out and do things. She did finally figure out what he is, but decided (with all the wisdom of a whiny 17 year old) that he couldn't possibly be actually, you know, evil. And really, up to now he's done nothing to make her think otherwise.
General feeling at this point? I could put the book down and never wonder what happens to any of the characters. Not a compelling read for me. But I've suffered through worse than this has tossed up so far.
250 pages in, and it's awful damn sappy with the fluttery heart and agonized thoughts of having to live away from the object of her obsession. Definitely not the sort of thing I'd normally read, much to chick-flick/harlequin for me. Also, not much of a vampire story...other than one incident of moving fast and being strong, and several "mind readings" there's been nothing to indicate the boy's not just a big talker, so it's hard to call whiny ass really any more stupid than typical teenage emo girl.
And with that, I'm done for the night.... the dreaded sparkly in the sunlight scene should be just coming up though.
Comments, as I think of them:
"Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose" Uhm... Do teenagers talk like that? I was pretty well a nerd in school, and don't recall using the word "verbose".
(Bruce says he did, so maybe I'm overly critical?)
Bella is a whiny-ass. The whole moving up to Forks thing is somehow her idea; hasn't been explained yet, but you'd think she was being made a martyr.
(about page 30 here)
Why the hell is she obsessing over the boy who was a rude ass and trying to come up with ways to brush off the guy who's being nice and helpful, all the while whinging about how she'll never fit in anywhere and nobody will like her? self-fulfilling much?
She's lived with her father every summer of her life, and she just NOW discovers that he can't cook? what the crap did she eat every prior summer?
Also, she's a whiny-ass.
150 pages in (yes all in one go;when I'm on a mission, I'm on on a mission, you sillies) and she's still a whiny-ass but less annoyingly so I guess. I have very little sympathy for the character-type in general, but can see where it'd be appealing to some... you know, basically anybody that likes rom-coms. Edward has mostly been your typical teen-age asshat boy, jerking between "stay away from me, I'm SOOOO bad for you" and asking her to go out and do things. She did finally figure out what he is, but decided (with all the wisdom of a whiny 17 year old) that he couldn't possibly be actually, you know, evil. And really, up to now he's done nothing to make her think otherwise.
General feeling at this point? I could put the book down and never wonder what happens to any of the characters. Not a compelling read for me. But I've suffered through worse than this has tossed up so far.
250 pages in, and it's awful damn sappy with the fluttery heart and agonized thoughts of having to live away from the object of her obsession. Definitely not the sort of thing I'd normally read, much to chick-flick/harlequin for me. Also, not much of a vampire story...other than one incident of moving fast and being strong, and several "mind readings" there's been nothing to indicate the boy's not just a big talker, so it's hard to call whiny ass really any more stupid than typical teenage emo girl.
And with that, I'm done for the night.... the dreaded sparkly in the sunlight scene should be just coming up though.
Wisdom from 4-chan. Frighting concept, I know.
"Seriously, Twilight has conditioned a legion of prepubescent girls into believing that obsessive/possessive behavior and objectification of women is not only acceptable, but also romantic as fuck. Stephanie Meyers has done the sexual deviants the world over a huge favor."
I suppose I should get around to reading this book, just to see how bad it really is.
"Seriously, Twilight has conditioned a legion of prepubescent girls into believing that obsessive/possessive behavior and objectification of women is not only acceptable, but also romantic as fuck. Stephanie Meyers has done the sexual deviants the world over a huge favor."
I suppose I should get around to reading this book, just to see how bad it really is.
