The Instructions are Simple

Hey - I'm alive! Massively overwhelmed with work and constantly too busy or tired to write, but alive.

Got an emergency call last night. Good conversation with the lady (we'll call her PC, for Poor Comprehension):

PC: Where are you?
Me: We're in C-town, where are you coming from and I can give you directions?
PC: From just this side of A-town.
Me: Okay, so you're just going to go straight down the highway until just before you get into C-town, and we will be on the right hand side.
PC: So you're out on the old road?
Me: No, we are right on the highway, you make no turns. Just come down the highway and we are on the right, shortly before city limits.
PC: So I turn at the church?
Me: NO! You do not turn. I know what clinic you're thinking of, and that place has been closed for more than five years. There is no clinic on the old road. Just stay on the highway and we are on the right hand side, just before you get to C-town city limits.
PC: Well, we haven't been there in a while, I'm not sure I can find it. Where's the turn to the old road if it's not the church?
Me: Ma'am, that clinic does not exist. You need to stay on the highway, do not turn on the old road. We are on the highway, next door to the coffee stand, just before you go into town.
PC: The coffee stand? On the edge of town?
Me: Yes. (Side note- this is so frequent, and I don't get it. The big brick building with big brick barn and extensive fencing doesn't get noticed, but just say "next to the coffee stand" and everybody knows what you're talking about. Seriously, you could fit the coffee stand in our lobby, but apparently we're invisible.)
PC: Okay, I know where that is.
Me: Great; how long will it take you to get there, I'll meet you there.
PC: About 30 minutes.
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50 minutes later, they arrive. PC's son (who drove, so why she didn't just put him on the phone to get directions is beyond me) apologizes for being late, and explains that his mother insisted they drive down the old road because that's where the clinic is.
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After evaluating their pet, I give them an estimate for what's needed, and then go over optional additions while the animal is anesthetized. PC asks if she can get a bunch of stuff done and then make payments. I explain that we take payments through Care Credit, which offers a 6 month interest-free payment period. I tell her that she can apply on the phone, or on-line, and that if she wants, we can help her apply online here. We also take all the standard credit cards, which she can pay back as she normally would. She does not apply for Care Credit. We do not do any of the elective procedures. I have to physically point out the signature line (which I marked with an x) on the treatment consent form; PC still signs in the wrong place.
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This morning, PC's son comes to pick up the cat. He brings no money, no credit cards, and no Care Credit.