I was too busy wandering around in the woods with my horse and dog to give a shit about the other kids at school before college. I'm not sure that qualifies as self-confidence so much as hiding. I was lucky enough in college to have a couple very good friends who decided that I needed to learn to have some self-esteem and become capable of accepting a complement. They both worked damn hard at it, and neither one of them tried to leverage it towards getting into my pants. It was a good thing for me. I wish everyone could have something similar. Confidence didn't become more than a mask until a few years after that, and it's still a great bit shakier than you seem to think. It's not confidence that has let me get out of bad relationships and jobs, it's a modicum of self-worth. The mask of confidence is what gets me a new job, so that's nice to have, but it's always scary as hell to shake things up in such a way. It comes down to feeling that I deserve better than I've been treated by the psycho boss or s.o.
It's very flattering when someone is attracted to you. This is true, I think, for anyone. The parts I object to about the "romance" as portrayed in Twilight are where she is willingly and grossly stupid about danger. Not just the "I might get hurt if he breaks up with me" danger that is inherent in any relationship, but the part where she blithely says "oh, it doesn't matter" when he tells her that he's a "reformed" serial killer. "Oh, it's alright, because he feels guilty about it, so it can never ever happen again, tra la fucking la." That is plain, blatant, eager stupidity, for which I have no sympathy or empathy. (Yes, this despite the fact that I've stupidly blinded myself and insisted on a relationship with "the bad boy" before. I have no sympathy for myself either. Less, in fact, that I do for other people, because I have no excuses, I should have fucking known better. Giving a statement to the cops is not a fun way to end a relationship, in case you wondered.) And since these books are supposed to be aimed at young/teenage (and presumably impressionable) girls, I do not think it's appropriate to be showing such stupidity as shiningly romantic. If people like my mom and cousin (and you) who are old enough to know what they want in a relationship feel like reading it, fine. I don't see that it's any worse on that audience than the Harlequins my mom would otherwise be reading (not like those are particularly healthy relationships, either, but at least they're not aimed at the tweens!)
Don't worry, I've no plans on reading any more of the series, or watching the movies. They are neither bad enough to be entertaining, nor good enough to be worth spending the time. As I said a while back; I don't understand the love/hate fest, Twilight was just mediocre, and for the most part boring to me.
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Date: 2009-12-01 05:54 pm (UTC)It's very flattering when someone is attracted to you. This is true, I think, for anyone. The parts I object to about the "romance" as portrayed in Twilight are where she is willingly and grossly stupid about danger. Not just the "I might get hurt if he breaks up with me" danger that is inherent in any relationship, but the part where she blithely says "oh, it doesn't matter" when he tells her that he's a "reformed" serial killer. "Oh, it's alright, because he feels guilty about it, so it can never ever happen again, tra la fucking la." That is plain, blatant, eager stupidity, for which I have no sympathy or empathy. (Yes, this despite the fact that I've stupidly blinded myself and insisted on a relationship with "the bad boy" before. I have no sympathy for myself either. Less, in fact, that I do for other people, because I have no excuses, I should have fucking known better. Giving a statement to the cops is not a fun way to end a relationship, in case you wondered.) And since these books are supposed to be aimed at young/teenage (and presumably impressionable) girls, I do not think it's appropriate to be showing such stupidity as shiningly romantic. If people like my mom and cousin (and you) who are old enough to know what they want in a relationship feel like reading it, fine. I don't see that it's any worse on that audience than the Harlequins my mom would otherwise be reading (not like those are particularly healthy relationships, either, but at least they're not aimed at the tweens!)
Don't worry, I've no plans on reading any more of the series, or watching the movies. They are neither bad enough to be entertaining, nor good enough to be worth spending the time. As I said a while back; I don't understand the love/hate fest, Twilight was just mediocre, and for the most part boring to me.