draggonlaady

Sunday was a lovely fun day of constantly ringing emergency phone, alternated with time with Bruce.
First call woke us up at the almost reasonable hour of 8am. Horse with vaginal discharge, lady just wanted to know what dose antibiotic to start, didn't expect me to haul my butt out of bed.

Second call actually came while I was talking to first call, then called back again just as I hung up from first call. Bloated mastiff. That one was no fun, as we met them at the clinic to euthanize the dog.

Checked the ansaphone while we were at the clinic. Got a random call from someone swearing at the machine (this happens frighteningly often, actually), and one from a very impaired sounding woman who had "a dog that needs to be put down. She's, uhm, she's old." Wants an 'emergency' euthanasia (don't recall when that was, but it must have been during the night). Says she's "got the dog in the car right now." Well, that's all fine and dandy, but since she never bothered to call the emergency line, I didn't get the message until the next day. I really, REALLY dislike when people assume on my time--I get messages like "I'm on my way to the clinic right now" fairly often, and usually when I can't do a damn thing about it. Does them no good to leave a message like that and get to the clinic in 5 minutes if I'm an hour's drive away, or in the middle of some other procedure. I can't teleport, and I haven't yet managed to clone myself.

Third call came after breakfast, woman calling because her grandson's dog probably has a broken leg. She hasn't seen the dog, doesn't know what happened, just that her daughter in law called in a panic because they couldn't get a hold of their regular vet. Told her to tell her kids to bring the dog up, we'll take a look. Rads of the leg were BEAUTIFUL. Really. Pieces of bone and bullet everywhere. One teeny-tiny-little puncture on the back of the leg, couldn't even fit a pencil through it. But it sure did a number on the puppy--broke both the radius and the ulna. Cute, sweet little brindle dog too. So knocked her out, and put a cast on her leg.

Fourth call came while I was prepping the puppy from the third call. Cat with a urethral blockage. Owner can bring him in today, but he's an hour's drive away. That's alright, it'll give me time to finish casting the dog, right? Head on in. Actually had time to send the ever-patient Bruce over to the coffee shop next door for smoothies between finishing the cast and the cat arriving. Bruce must be good luck, it was the easiest blockage I've ever had to clear. Knocked the cat out, the blockage was all in the very tip of the penis, milked it out and he started spraying urine all over.

Then we got to go home for a late lunch and a couple hours free-time. Next call came just after we finished dinner, and were planning showers. This is the good one, you'll all be SO proud of me for not screaming at the woman. She tried to neuter her dog at home with a goat band. Of no surprise to anyone with knowledge of dogs and their habit of chewing on anything that even looks like it might itch someday, the dog now has a large open wound with "something long and skinny" hanging out of it. Lucky for the dog, turns out the long and skinny was the cord to one of the testicles, and not intestine. But I got to drag my assistant out of bed to help with this one, while Bruce napped on the floor, since he had to go to work at 3am. Actually didn't clean up too badly, just frustrating that people do stupid shit like this. So she saved herself the $90 to get the dog neutered the right way. Instead, it cost her over $400 for me to clean up the mess she made.

Happily, nobody called in the middle of the night. Nope, they all saved it up for this morning!

So far, the receptionist has succumbed to full-moon-itis, and called in, get this--so she can make some phone calls for her husband. Not that she's sick, or he's sick, or what the hell ever, but so that she can stay home and talk on the phone. The crap? So I've been answering the phone far more often than I should.

Dr S's appointment for 25 cattle called in, an hour before the appointment time. They want him to do 45 instead. Way to give us some warning and time to schedule that! So he's all cranky and stressed, and threw himself into the truck to head out early.

I've talked to a woman who wanted an "emergency grooming" for her old dog. Since I don't generally consider grooming of any sort to be emergent unless there are maggots involved, I have very little sympathy for her inability to brush her own dog. "He's set in his ways" she says, and won't let her near him with a brush. Well, that's dandy. Means we'll probably have to knock him out to do anything. So I quoted her blood work before we anesthetize, and anesthesia, and time to shave him, and warned her that we are not groomers and do not pretend that he'll come out of it looking pretty or in any way stylish. All I guarantee is that the mats will be gone. She kind of choked on the "over $100" bit, and said she'd call back.

Receptionist 2 (the one that actually showed up to work!) just fielded a call from a woman who couldn't get it through her head that we do not do surgery on Saturday. Tried to schedule 2 geldings for Saturday. Was told we don't do surgery on Saturdays. Says ok, what about the next Saturday? We do not schedule surgery of any sort for anyone on Saturdays. Well, that's not what I was told! Erm, wha? Don't know who you were talking to, but it wasn't anybody that works here, because WE. DO. NOT. SCHEDULE. SURGERY. FOR. SATURDAYS.

Yeefreakinghaw. Ok, off to pull teeth out of a little old gremlin dog's mouth.