Today was shit.

[draggonlaady]

This morning I told a lady that her elderly dog has a tumor that I'm unlikely to be able to remove all of due to location. We'll try, but I expect it won't go well.

This afternoon, I killed 3 cats for 1 client, right after Dr S killed one for another client. Then Dr S went home early because we were really slow for the day... and shortly after he left, we started getting emergency calls.

I've got a dog with a shattered femur and broken pelvis; I'll be amputating her leg tomorrow. Owner doesn't seem to grasp the concept that unless he builds a fence, he will continue to have dogs hit by cars on the road in front of his house. (I heard several times during the exam on this dog about how his other dog was just hit and died last month!)

Ended up euthanizing an old dog about 20 after 5, while tech and Dr A prepped a probable pyometra/possible peritonitis that turned out to be (as so many things that Dr A has seen recently! Poor Dr A...) completely freaky. We got in, and the whole abdomen is full of pus, the left ovary is adhered into a big knot of intestine and omentum all stuck into a solid chunk surrounding something nasty and oozing pus. So I called the owner and explained the badness while Dr A closed the abdomen up, then we sat around and waited for the owner to come say goodbye so we could kill that dog too.

I'm gonna tell you about this last dog, because you all need a good, whoppin' dose of rip your damn heart out, right? She was a chihuahua pit bull mix. Not really something I'd generally recommend, but she managed to turn out sweeter than sugar. So the owner comes back to say goodbye, and brings her little girl to say goodbye too. The dog was just waking up from anesthesia, so she was wobbly and having trouble sitting up. Mom's trying to explain to daughter why it's the best thing for the dog to let her die quietly, they're both crying and hugging the dog, and the dog manages to sit up long enough to lick the little girl's face. I don't really have words here for how heart-breaking that moment was. You'll just have to accept that after that point, I was crying too.

The one good thing of the day is that Holly has gone to a new home--hopefully a permanent one!

Comments

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

Jesus, honey, I'm sorry. Why do things cluster like that?

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

I dunno. But it certainly gets old.

[sphynx-again.livejournal.com]

Oh, just ... wow. So sorry.

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

I suppose it could always be worse, but really, at some point it has to take life an honest, concentrated effort to accomplish "worse", right?

[winnett.livejournal.com]

*cries* I need to not read your posts like this as my own kitty is dying.

I am so happy I didn't go into vet medicine.

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

Sorry, didn't mean to poke a wound. Am sad about Acacia too... and yeah. There are definitely days that I wish I hadn't gone this route either.

[winnett.livejournal.com]

You didn't know and no worries. No need to babysit me!

*hugs* I know it must be hard.

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

No, I did know; you've been posting updates about her. Is sad. :(

[winnett.livejournal.com]

I meant more along the lines of 'you didn't know it would make me sad.'

She woke me up at 1:30 this morning and she drank some tuna juice, so that was good.

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

Still hanging in there then. Wish there was some way to fix things... watching them getting old sucks.

[sphynx-again.livejournal.com]

So sorry about your kitty. I had to make the decision to euthanize a cat on Tuesday. I've had him for 13 years almost to the day. I have a theory. Animals don't live very long because there are so very many more of them that need our love than there are folks to love them. So love her while she's here, let her go when she's ready, and don't close your heart to the next one who needs you.
*hugs*

[winnett.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's fairly sucky. I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks for your thoughts. :)

[fr33f0x.livejournal.com]

Loss is always terrrible. I know that. But look at it this way: From the dog's reaction, it had genuine affection for the girl - it must have been treated with love and respect. It probably had a good life there. Likewise, the girl must have gotten much affection and joy from the dog. Grief is painful, but it is the flip side of the joy.
Would you rather they hadn't shown up, that they didn't care?

Love hurts. It's still the best thing in this world.

*Hug*

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

No, I'd rather it had been something I could have fixed, and sent the dog home to have several more years of happily following her girl around. Being able to do that is why I wanted this job in the first place. Being able to let them die in minimum pain is a sorry, sorry second to being able to heal them.

[fr33f0x.livejournal.com]

"No, I'd rather it had been something I could have fixed"
Don't we all? Often world just ain't built that way. You know what Keynes said: "In the long run? In the long run we're all dead."
Every bit helps, of course, so you keep fighting. I have total respect and awe for that. It isn't a doc's job to give up, not a human doc's job, and I suppose, not a vet's job either. But still, grief is our friend. When peeps can grieve in the face of the unavoidable, that is a good thing. Not being able to accept and to let go is (imho) a lot of what is behind the fucked-up-ness of most cons, for example.

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

Long term denial can seriously be an issue. Had one client a while back that ended up with her cat dying. Won't bother going into the issues that led up to that, but several of the problems were the owner's doing... Anyway, 8 months after the cat died, she would still have a total break down if someone mentioned the cat to her. I get that she missed the cat, but shouldn't someone be able to hold a conversation about cats without breaking down sobbing 8 months later? I suspect some underlying issues there...